What do You Deserve?

We have all had those days (or sometimes an excessively long string of those days). You know, the type of day where you continually find yourself asking what you did to deserve all this? You blew a fuse drying your hair and then dropped an earring down the sink. You're already running late and, of course, you forgot to fill the gas tank last night so now you have to stop on your way in to work. The e-mails never stopped coming and the phone never stopped ringing and by 3 o'clock, you realize you never even paused to eat lunch and you're starved. You finally get to go home and what do you know, a surprise snow shower came through in the middle of April and you don't have your window scraper. As soon as you walk in the door at home, your cell phone starts buzzing, reminding you of a dentist appointment you were supposed to be at over 45 minutes ago. You go to the bathroom and realize you have a huge smudge of mascara on your eyelid; clearly it had been hanging out there all day. The mirror is glaring at you; your face looks pale, tired, old...and your roots are really grown out, and that reminds you that you forgot to call your salon to make a hair appointment for the 4th day in a row. You shuffle through the mail only to find two pieces of junk and three bills you can't afford to pay. You are on the verge of an emotional breakdown, you're actually surprised you made it through the 40 minute commute in what seemed like it could have been holiday traffic headed North for a long weekend. Except it was Tuesday, and you were headed East and there is no holiday, and....ugh, why was the traffic so ugly, today?!

In that long, drawn-out moment of sheer emptiness you hold just before you start feeling the urge to throw something or cry or yell into a pillow - you have a choice. You have a choice to let the anger and frustration take over, to allow it to consume your thoughts for the next hour and to let this string of nuances become bigger than you. You have a choice to let it win. But you also have a choice to realize that life is so much more than this annoying day; that in the grand scheme of things, this day is laughable. You can choose to buckle under the "pressure" of things that don't really matter, or you can choose to understand how little these things really are and that you can take charge of your mood and how this day will end. Strength comes in so many different shapes, is tested in so many different ways and is exercised on so many different levels. It is up to you to design your strength, empower it, utilize it, grow it, believe in it and feel it. Strength is something you build, and with it comes confidence, independence, perseverance and a growing potential. Not a single person in this world has the ability to touch your strength. They can't judge it, they can't bend it or break it, they can't limit it. But in the same token, not a single person in this world can give you strength, either. They can show it to you, they can demonstrate it and set an example, they can even try to coach you. But only YOU can be the true creator, holder and user of your strength. You can surround yourself with strong people and feed off their positivity, but until you can master your OWN strength, these tough days will still seem extreme to you. Until you can stand on your own and decide the fate of each day in your life, one by one and then maybe a few at a time, these tough days will still have the ability to break you down. Strength is a choice, it's as simple as that.

Before you know it, your days will be exactly how you allow them to be. Sure, you can't stop obstacles from getting in your way or accidents from happening or slipping on a banana peel and falling flat on your back. But you can control how you respond. Before you know it, days like the one described above won't even phase you and you'll find the positive points and focus on those and gather the lessons you've learned and prepare for a better day tomorrow. And soon enough, you'll be asking: "What did I do to deserve all this?" Except you'll be exclaiming happiness instead of frustration. You'll be happy with where you're at, where you're heading, and what you're working for. And you will have only YOU and the STRENGTH you built to thank. And you will deserve every smile, every ounce of happiness and every new day that you take by storm, because you will have earned it and worked for it and believed in it.

Choose yourself. Choose control. Choose your own strength.