Success is Not Final, Failure is Not Fatal; It is the Courage to Continue That Counts

Sometimes, in life, everything just falls apart.  

You feel like you're not moving towards anything...nothing at all. You can't afford to buy groceries, a week's worth of dishes are piled up in the sink and you don't even want to get out of bed. You hate your job and your relationships have faltered. Suddenly, everything you thought you knew about where you were headed and what you wanted, doesn't make a bit of sense.  

Sometimes, in life, you can't help but to feel that you're at your lowest point. 

You internalize, because you feel so embarrassed about the shape you're in. You start to discount your goals, because, at this rate, you just know you'll never reach them. You simply start settling for less. 

And when you're at your worst, it would not be proper for life to let you off the hook, just yet. Instead, you'll lose your job, or your house will flood, or your car will spontaneously combust and dismember into a million different pieces. Whatever it may be, it will surely throw you over the edge at maximum speed with no brakes and no soft landing in sight. 

And when you're breathlessly sobbing in the middle of your living room floor with your hands clenched into mini wrecking balls and your knees tucked close to your chest, only then, have you truly arrived at Destination: Rock Bottom.

I know that many people reach this point at least once in their lifetime. And I know that everyone will handle their situation differently. They have different resources available to them, a different support system, different means of getting by.

But for me, my family is my savior. My parents, now in their mid-50's, drove three hours across the state in a commercial van. They loaded up every single one of my belongings, like a real-life version of Tetris, into the back of this van and carted me off to a new beginning. As I followed them down the highway, I thought: "Here are my parents, despite the distance, despite the hardships in my relationship with them over the past year or so, despite the reason or the cause...here they are. Doing whatever it takes to help me, to give me the opportunity to build my life back up. Here they are, loving me...truly, unconditionally.

I cried for a good 45 minutes of that drive, as I followed my bedroom furniture and kitchen utensils down I-96. I had cried so, so many tears over those few months of desperation, but these were the first of the happy tears. The overwhelming pressure of pure love kept pushing tears down my cheeks like I hadn't cried in years. I felt an immense sense of gratitude towards my parents, who were glimmers of hope navigating their way through the debris of my broken heart. All I could do was cry.

Although I have many things yet to take care of in Operation: New Start, I am astounded at how quickly I have bounced back to high spirits. I dove, head-first, into being happy. I spent as much time as possible with friends, shared many meals, conversations and adventures with my family, and I just started a new job that I'm extremely proud of. I kept myself busy with DIY projects and going to the gym and simply doing things that I enjoy.

While it takes personal effort and a large amount of desire to succeed, I absolutely could not have turned my life around like this...without my family. They gave me just the right amount of shoulder to lean on, some tough love to motivate me and, once again, a roof over my head until I'm back on my feet. I would like to think that any parent would do the same for their child, but the hard truth is that not every parent would...not every parent can. I, in no way, feel that I am all-deserving of the support I received, but boy am I ever grateful. Grateful to have truly caring and loving parents, grateful to be where I am, grateful to be smiling and  for each step I take towards a successful life.

There are a few lessons learned that I would like to capitalize on:
1) A strong family is the most beautiful blessing you will ever receive.
2) No matter how deep your pain or how heavy the circumstances, you can always find the strength you need to inch towards a better life.
3) Hitting rock bottom is actually beneficial, albeit those benefits may be disguised by heartache, tears and loss of direction.
4) Never settle.

Although its not nearly enough, a huge, heartfelt Thank You goes out to my Subjects of Honor, Mike and Sue Jackson, for saving me from my Twenty-Something-Life-Crisis.