But there's an excitement buzzing beneath the cover of my textbook. A little sigh of relief in the zipper of my school bag. It's been a hard semester. There are more inky teardrop stains in my spiral notebook than I'd like to admit, and I certainly could have set aside more of my time here and there instead of procrastinating til last minute on my assignments. But I feel so accomplished.
I haven't taken a math class since 2009. One of my classes this semester, however, was a 5000 level economics course which was dusted with calculus, statistics and Greek symbols. I had to re-teach myself how to multiply fractions (yes, I forgot) and had to reach out to my math-whiz cousin so he could teach me about derivatives. And I'll be honest, two weeks into the class I had already wanted to call it quits. Yet here I am, 16 weeks later taking my final steps into the light at the end of the supply and demand tunnel.
But I'm not here to pat myself on the back. Really, I could have given a lot more this semester. I'm just so ready to be done with school.
I am here, however, to basque in some belonging, and treasure a little bit of happy and a whole lotta love. Like I said, it's been a tough semester. And I've had to set some things in my personal life aside in order to get through it. I left my poor hunny feeling a little lost at times, and had to take a break from my monthly get-togethers with my girlfriends for a while. But I'll tell you what, I've never felt more connected to the people in my life. We may not have been able to see each other as frequently, lately, but we sure have made a point to show up, wholeheartedly, for some pretty important moments...the ones that matter.
We all have points in our lives when we're working towards a goal and have to disappear for a bit. We all have seasons that are spontaneous, and seasons that are carefully calculated and planned. And despite the individual lives we all lead and the varied goals we all seek to fulfill...we all have a designated spot on our list of priorities for each other. That spot might shift around, it might require some fine-tuning...but it's always there...and it's always tended to in one way or another. My call is always returned. My question is always answered. My feelings are always cared for. And our little friend family just keeps growing stronger....even as our own lives grow busier.
This morning I attended our second annual Christmas brunch with my five best friends. Every single one of us was there, gift in one hand, mimosa in the other, and the biggest smiles on our faces. I could have spent an entire day sitting in that over-sized booth as our infectious laughter coated every wall of the restaurant. The waiters and patrons zipped past us in every direction, like blurs rushing past the window of a moving car...the six of us in hyper-color focus, as if time was standing still within the confines of our clay-colored booth. Time really does stand still when we are together. I love that about us.
And just last week we were celebrating Anthony at our favorite little spot over drinks with family and friends...open invitation to whomever could make it out. We were overwhelmed with the turnout, showered with love and support, and surrounded with our favorite people. Anthony and I have been together just shy of three years, and I can't even put into words how much it meant to me to have the most important people in my life show up to support him...especially from such distances. My heart was made a little fuller, that day.
Another one of my girlfriends is getting married, and yet again, I get to stand next to each one of my best friends on that day. That's a real blessing, right there.
As this semester comes to a close, and I reflect on what I've gained, I can't help but brush right past my new-found ability of turning a Greek symbol into 100th of a whole number, and instead collect the love captured in moments with my friends and family over the past couple of months.
I've never been so sure of what my life is made of. I'm not where I thought I'd be by now, but the people standing next to me are the exact people I always dreamed would be there. I've got a man who supports me, challenges me to be better in the best ways possible, and loves me through all my flaws. I've got a group of girlfriends compiled of the world's most balanced personalities, strengths and characters. I've got a big ol' family I wouldn't trade for anything. And pretty soon I'll have an education that I can take with me anywhere. I'm curious to see just how far I can make it travel.
I'm not where I thought I'd be by now...
But I sure am happy.
