Mid-December, 2011: struggle through exam week on no more than 4 hours of sleep every other night. After finishing my last exam, pack up everything I can fit into my car, including my pet rabbit with his gargantuan cage and move across the state. Move in with boyfriend who lives with friend, two full size dogs and evidence of friend's past-relationship-gone-bad. AKA, all of said friend's ex's stuff still occupying the bathroom, two bedrooms and every other nook and cranny throughout the house. Sell rabbit to another college student because friend is allergic and dogs want to eat him. All of that aside...internship engage. The internship went great, it kept me super busy and out of money-troubles, as so many of us college-age kids struggle with between every paycheck, or lack there of.
Mid-April, 2012: After working six to seven days a week between nine and eleven hours a day for the past four months or so...I decided that a much needed vacation before spring classes started up was a must. I mean, I've basically been living out of a suitcase for the entire duration of my internship anyway, so what the heck. Introduce, my trip to Philadelphia, PA. I'm currently smack-dab in the middle of it and loving every minute. I get to spend some amazing time with my older sister Amy, who has just been the greatest at showing me around the city, giving me things to do while she's at work and providing me with some unforgettable memories. A whole 12 days away from my hectic, stuck-in-the-middle life back in Michigan, and let me tell you - it's been fantastic so far. And all the things we still have yet to do, I can't wait! Our itinerary for the rest of the week in Philly is jam-packed with fun-filled events, friends, and of course drinks. (We've both been waiting for what seems like an eternity for me to turn 21 so we can enjoy the night-life together. So. Much. Fun.) But that's not even the best of it. Next weekend, we experience NYC in the flesh! Just a train-ride away, how could we not go?
Although I am thoroughly enjoying my time on the East side of the country and am in no way ready to say "take me home"...I am looking forward to getting back to Grand Rapids, back to my apartment and my own room, own bathroom, comfy blankets - sans dog hair - and oh yea, go out on the town, my own town, and enjoy a drink with some good friends.
As noted in my earlier posts, I am truly starting to embrace my life. MY life. MINE. Over the past few months I've done a lot of self-discovery and growing up. All the while, living on someone else's turf, eating off plates I didn't purchase and tiptoeing around a house that I don't call home. The internship, turning 21, registering for my final year of undergraduate classes, diving deeper into my relationship with my boyfriend, and this spectacular vacation have all led me to do a lot of reflecting on my life and a lot of learning about the type of person I want to become; the person I am becoming. The thing I want most right now - is to continue this growth and string of realizations. I've smiled more in the past month than I remember doing in the entire year before. I've finally looked in the mirror and saw not the things I want to change, but what I've already become, the beauty of my life and the strength I've gained to realize that some of the paths I've been traveling have been for the wrong reasons. But I don't view these paths as flaws - I view them as the stepping stones, the obstacles which became the tools I've needed all along to teach me about myself. To teach me what I don't want in my life.
Ask anyone what they really want out of life. I bet they will stumble over their words, use "umm" and give short blurbs of ideas they saw in a movie. I doubt you will ever find someone who will ramble off exactly how they envision their life and say it's been that way since they could remember. The idea of my life changes every day. But it's not that it ever becomes more defined as to what I want...I just realize more and more of what I don't want. And that's just fine.
I am excited to get back to my life, back home where my closet is full of freshly laundered clothes and all my shoes are in a row on the floor instead of a jumbled pile in the trunk of my car. I am excited to be taking classes again and wake up in the morning in my own bed and put on a pot of coffee and go grocery shopping without thinking of what anyone else likes or doesn't like. I am at a completely selfish point in life right now...I don't want to have to figure anyone else into my plans. I wan't to focus on me and continue my self discovery. I want to finish school and find a job that will help me pay off my disgusting amount of debt - which by the way, is due to the best investment I will ever make in my lifetime. I don't want to do anyone else's laundry. I want to make one-person meals. I want to clean dishes that only I dirtied. If there is one specific thing I could name that I've learned just recently - it would be that I am 21 years old and I'm going to start living like it.
Happy Discovering!
