Ever seen the movie Yes Man with Jim Carrey? Basically, the main character goes around and to any opportunity that is presented to him, he must say "yes." Lately, I've felt like I'm living a Yes-Life, myself. I've been trying to be more spontaneous, live a little more freely and open myself to new people and adventures. There was once a time in my life where I would decline an invitation for an event if I didn't think I would know the majority of the people attending. Really...that's been the case for the better part of my life. But now I almost prefer to go places where I have to force myself to talk to people I don't already know. I'm finding that people are very interesting. When you let yourself relax and ask people questions about their life...they open up, too.
I'm not sure what events have triggered this change in me. Honestly, small talk with strangers used to make me so nervous. My palms would become clammy as if I was in an interview. I wasn't very good at helping the conversation along...they would ask me a question and I would answer it...but didn't turn the table back over to them. I was just awkward. Able to talk about myself but forgot to ask them questions, too. I think my job has probably helped me quite a bit with small talk. As it is, I'm on the phone all day long with people I've never met in my life. Yet, I somehow have managed to find some whit, some confidence and have asked customers questions that led to some truly incredible conversations.
I also think there's probably a maturity aspect to it...and a general curiosity when it comes to other people. You never know the kind of people you might let slip through your fingers if you don't take the time to chat with them for a minute. A mere introduction to a person does not make them a friend, or even an acquaintance, really. It's the digging around a little bit, finding out their interests and what you might have in common. It's about opening up and making an effort to expand your contact list. I complained a lot about not having too many friends since I moved away to school. Yes, of course I still have my super tight-knit group of friends from high school that I see on a regular basis. But they don't live near me, so all of our visits have to be planned around a birthday or a concert. But here, away from my home town, I would sit at home and be so very anxious to get out and do something. I'd take one look at my phone and have no idea who to call and that would be it, no calls made, nothing to do.
As far as reaching out and building up the courage to ask a new friend to actually go do something with me..that bit I'm still working on. It's a growing process. But I'm certain that I'm heading in the right direction. You can't possibly ask anyone new to join in on your plans if you never take the time to meet the new people, first.
This past weekend I went camping with sixteen people. We all brought tents for a two-night stay and we floated down the river in tubes for 5 hours. Of those sixteen people, I only knew two going in. I left the campground on Sunday saying to myself: "That was a really fun weekend....and I really like those people."
Happy 'Yessing' !
