Seeking: Men Who Wear Camo in Martini Bars

I wear many faces...but all of them are truly mine.

    During the week, I'm in bed by 10pm, I wake up early and have an hour commute to work. I wear slacks and hide my cleavage, like a good little professional. I try to eat healthy and make it to the gym every once in a while. I don't get around to watching much TV or snacking on a bunch of potato chips...I pretty much just stick to what I need to do.
    On most weekends, I like to let loose. I like to see my friends and drink beer and scarf down a good burger. I like to stay up late so I can sleep in. I like to do fun, adventurous things and meet new people. I try to keep up with my Detroit sports, and I always feel like I will fit in a few loads of laundry - but let's face it...weekends are too damn short.
    There are times I like to get all dolled up and wear a pair of heels and some bright red lipstick. I like a good night out on the town with my girlfriends, tracking down free drinks and engaging in interesting, alcohol-fueled conversation with complete strangers at the bar. I like walking along the downtown streets at night, heels in hand, eyes on the stars above.
    On the other hand, there are weekends where I want to wear a pair of jeans and an old sweatshirt. I want to throw a can of Bud Light in a koozie with some unladylike saying on the side and sit on a truck tailgate next to a roaring fire. I like to ride shotgun down old dirt roads and explore abandoned houses and fire off rounds at some silly target a few acres back.
    I'm not afraid of getting my hands dirty, I'm not scared of a toolbox and trust me when I say "I can do it," you better let me try. Then, there are times where I just want to be pampered. But we all need that, sometimes, right?
    I feel so completely in between labels...I'm not a "city girl" by any means...but that doesn't mean I don't enjoy the night-life and the artistic, creative ways downtown has a way of bringing people together. If I had to pick a side, I easily would say I'm more "country girl" than anything, but I would love to bring some city elements with me. When I envision my lifestyle 10 years from now...I picture myself living on a country road on a big piece of land. I see a country-style exterior house with all the perks of a modern home on the inside - obviously with some Shelby flare to spice up the decor. There are a couple horses in the back, an awesome tree house for the kids and a big ol' pole barn for its plethora of uses. And just a few miles away, my starry-skied, red-lipstick nights-out-on-the-town will be waiting for me on a Friday night.
    I know that's what I want. I am positive that that's who I am and who I want to be.

Now I just need to find my perfectly in between city-country boy to rock my world. One who dresses up nice for work, keeps his hands clean when he needs to, but loves to throw on those work boots and make his dreams become his reality.

Question is...where do I meet him? You don't see many men wearing camo in a martini bar these days....

Whatever's Good for Your Soul...Do That.

It's like waking up on a Sunday morning with a warm sun glowing through the window

When your head feels as though it rested peacefully on a floating cloud of wafting feathers

There's a glimmer of serenity in the air, a feeling of overall harmony in the surrounding space

You lay there, for just a moment, with a smile on your face

And you just know its going to be a good day

That's what it feels like. 

That's how it feels to finally realize a sense of pure certainty in yourself. Not so much in your abilities or your progress towards a goal. It has nothing to do with career advancements or how much money you were able to save. It's about the soul; the real, down-to-the-gritty truth in yourself. The part of you that doesn't care about rhyme or reason, doesn't guide itself along the boundaries of social norms or care to conform. Its the part of you that builds the basis for every single thing that you do. It's the part of you that builds your immediate reactions to every factor of life. It's what causes those gut-wrenching notions of instinct; your first impression of the happenings around you. 

Your soul is the basis of your being, where every decision starts, where every reaction stems, where your true self lies. Your soul is your raw personality, before you let the brain take over and mix in forward thinking, rationale, and consequential patterns. 

But if you let it, your soul can be suffocated. It will shrink and whither. It will ache, like a thousand broken hearts. It's possible to allow your soul to be overshadowed...belittled. And when that happens, your decision-making process becomes clouded. Where, once, there was a strong pull in one direction or another to get you started...you have no sense of certainty either way. No real connection to any decision that you make in your life. Instead of considering your truest desires, you become an outsider in your own body...blindly following the lead of those around you. You become guided purely by the path of least resistance and no longer by the conditions that make your heart sing.

Living this way is what leads to a meaningless life. What are you working towards, if not towards happiness? What does life truly provide to those who do not smile? What is a day worth if it adds nothing to the strength with which you will enter into tomorrow?

But when you strip away everything else in life...the impact that other people have on you, your hunger for money or acceptance, and the social status that your exude...you can capitalize on what your soul aches for. When you have certainty in yourself, to hear your soul's side of the argument, and really listen...that's when life becomes good. When you're sure of who you are and when you don't feel inclined to hide that in the shadows...that's when you find happiness.

That's where you'll find your warm sunny morning.