So, it's pretty exciting, a bit daunting, and extremely hard to wrap my head around...but I just registered for my last year of higher education before graduation. YIKES "Shelby Jackson: Grand Valley State University Alumni"...nope. unreal. Time as a form of measurement is so twisted in this scenario. Senior year of high school, I looked ahead 4 years to my next graduation and decided that another four years of schooling, (i.e. sitting in class, homework, exams, mid-term papers) sounded like the last thing I wanted to do. I mean, it was summer, I was 18 and I just finished 12 years of schooling that came way too easy to keep me out of trouble. FOUR MORE YEARS?! MINIMUM?! I mean, don't get me wrong. We've all seen the movies based on a college kid's life. Partying, drinking, hooking up, hitting on the teacher to get an A. You bet, I was looking forward to the college experience, regardless. But seriously...four more years?
And then, it was as if those four years were condensed into 6 months. Freshman year was a blur. I met all these people, learned that college is not anywhere near as easy as high school and this little video in my head of what "college" looked like when I was 17 suddenly took a turn for reality. College is hard work. Not only do I have to keep on my schoolwork, but there are student organization meetings to attend that all-too-often conflict with demanding work schedules that were self-inflicted because I chose an apartment with rent way too high for my means of income. And then there are distractions, such as the sand-pit volleyball nets in my front yard freshman year that taunted me out of attending class, and instead joining in on a game under the blue sky and rays of warm sun. Or the varsity football games, which haphazzardly always took place during one of my 6pm-9 classes. Or "Thirsty Thursdays" or "Sunday Funday." Ugh, when is a girl supposed to study?!
Thennn....Junior year hit and the lights came on. Sunday Funday? Who's brilliant play on words was this? Sunday is a day for doing a load of laundry between every 4-page-long accounting problem completed. Sunday is a day for reading ahead for this week's biology lab. Sunday is a day to turn off the cell phone and go into lock-down mode. Sunday is anything but "fun." Plus, what am I doing at this worthless, minimum-wage job that has nothing to do with my major? Note to self: time to get an internship - - preferably a paid internship. Time to get serious.
So here I am, working as an Intern for Thomson Reuters (paid, might I add). My grades are on the up-and-up and like I said, I've just registered for my final year of classes before I graduate with a Bachelor's Degree in Management Information Systems. Oh. My. God. What am I supposed to do next? I mean, I've already managed to cut out every inkling of "social" from my daily agenda. My money supply? Still limited. My need for time? Even more stretched. And while taking some of my hardest classes yet, I'm supposed to find time to figure out what companies I would like to work for, apply for jobs, attend interviews, and make a final decision as to what I want to be when I grow up? Welp, college is a death sentence.
In the back of my mind, though, I've got some sense of ease; calmness. There has never been a time in my life that I didn't make it through, one way or the other. I'm not big on fate, when people say "what's meant to be will be." But I do believe in hard work and if you give enough of yourself to something...things really do start to come into place.
We all started college because the economy told us we had to if we had any dream of getting a decent job. We all started college because it was what we were told we should do, whether it was community, private university, public university, online classes, whatever. But college really becomes fun, when you decide for yourself, that it's what you WANT to do. I no longer dread sitting through another lecture. I want to go to class. I no longer dread reading that fine-print 3,000 page textbook. I want to read it. I no longer dread the 11-hour study sessions. As long as I have coffee and a butt-cushion for the kitchen chair, I want to ace that test. I want to continue learning for the rest of my life, because I enjoy it. Because it makes me feel good. Because I can. It took me two and a half years of higher education to figure this out, but I'm so glad I did.
Who would have guessed? Miss "I-don't-know-if-I-can-stand-another-four-years-of-boring-teachers-and-research-papers" is currently deciding on a second major. Welcome to year 5....because I want to.
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